How to Make the Most Out of Your Mentor/Mentee Relationship

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You have just determined that you would like a mentor. How do you make the most out of your new or potential mentor/mentee relationship? Well, why is it that you want a mentor? Some of your responses should be:

1. I am looking to grow in my profession
2. I would like to be a better leader
3. I need to be challenged in order to achieve my goals
4. I have no clue what to do (who says you need to know what to do?!)

 
As the mentee, you should be the one to seek a mentor. Now, if you are a part of a great organization or have great leadership (or both), then chances are someone may approach you and either recommend you find a mentor and offer to mentor you. Some may even mentor you without making it “official”.
 
If nobody approaches you, then you find them. As mentioned a few weeks ago, find someone who:

1. is doing what you want to do
2. is doing it well
3. lives a morally and ethically sound life
4. has some of the characteristics and attributes discussed last week

 
You may even find a couple of mentors based on your roles in life. Perhaps a professional mentor or coach at work, a non-profit board member, perhaps a church leader. Many people have multiple roles in life and each role may have a mentor specific to that function. Some may need a coach more than a mentor in some areas (I will touch on coaching next week).
 
You now have an idea of why you need a mentor and what you are looking for in a mentor. So, what is your part in all of this? Take a quick look at last week’s post about being a mentor. Towards the end I listed 7 things to consider when mentoring (these are by no means the only things to consider). As the mentee, you will do something along the same lines. So, consider these when being mentored:

1. Mentoring is a relationship cultivated over time, based on trust. Be true to yourself and your mentor. Always.
2. Be prepared for your conversations with your mentor. If given homework, make sure you do it.
3. Ensure that you are open-minded and able to hear what your mentor is saying. Do not be defensive, rather, be open to new ways of doing things.
4. You will be asked to think and develop your own conclusions. Your mentor will help you through the process but will not simply give you the answer. The adage, “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.” comes to mind.
5. Be ready for honest and open constructive criticism.
6. You will develop your own set of tools and resources. Take what you can from your mentor but if they do not fit your personality, leave them out (whatever they are). Just remember to keep an open mind. Do not get lost in the “I’ve always done it this way” mentality.
7. Sometimes the best way to learn is to just try. Failing is not a bad thing. You (both) will learn a lot in the process. Failing at something means you were trying something new and it did not go as planned. Well, now you have a better idea of what to do next time.

 
If you noticed, number 7 is the same from the mentor list. You will both learn and make mistakes as you go through this process and develop your relationship. It is a journey, not checklist. Enjoy your relationship as you both learn from each other and you gain new insights and wisdom from your mentor.
 
Jared W. Snow